6) Humblebrag extensively, unconsciously. Redirect every conversational turn back to the subject of You. One simple strategy is simply to interrupt your crush’s personal anecdote with “Oh, that happened to me, too,” and proceed uninterrupted and loudly with your account of a similar experience. If you’re successful, your crush will begin looking over your shoulder, checking his watch, and asking for the check. If your crush is suddenly gone and you realize that you’ve been talking to an empty chair for the past five minutes, you’re gold.